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Erase Your Limits
This week we share a message from leadership expert, John Maxwell. John's message shows us that we may need to boost our self-esteem to unleash our potential.
Every time you make a mistake, don’t bring up everything that’s wrong with yourself; tell yourself that you’re paying the price for growth and that you will learn to do better next time. Every positive thing you can say to yourself will help.
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You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.
Often have I heard my friend Zig Ziglar say, “It’s impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves. We can do very few things in a positive way if we feel negative about ourselves.” Ziglar has a very practical, common-sense wisdom that he has shared with people for years. But experts in the field agree with his assessment. Nathaniel Branden, a psychotherapist and expert on the subject of self-esteem, says nothing is more important in people’s psychological development and motivation than the value judgments they make about themselves. Every aspect of their lives is impacted by the way they see themselves, Branden adds.
I’m well-known for teaching the Law of the Lid from The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Imagine that you want to do something great in your life that impacts a lot of people. Perhaps you want to build a large organization. That desire, no matter how great, will be limited by your leadership. It is a lid on your potential. Well, your self-esteem has the same kind of impact. If your desire is a 10 but your self-esteem is a 5, you’ll never perform at the level of a 10. You’ll perform as a 5 or lower.
We need to understand that the value we place on ourselves is usually the value others place on us, too. One of my favorite stories is about a man who went to a fortune-teller to hear what she had to say about his future. She looked into a crystal ball and said, “You will be poor and unhappy until you are 45 years old.”
“Then what will happen?” asked the man hopefully.
“Then you’ll get used to it.”
I’m sorry to say, that’s the way most people live their lives—according to what others believe about them. If the important people in their lives expect them to go nowhere, then that’s what they expect for themselves. That’s fine if you’re surrounded by people who believe in you. But what if you’re not? You shouldn’t become too concerned about what others might think of you. You should be more concerned about what you think of yourself. If you want to become the person you have the potential to be, you must believe you can!
To build self-esteem, apply the following suggestions.
1. Guard your self-talk.
Whether you know it or not, you have a running conversation with yourself all the time. What is the nature of yours? Do you encourage yourself? Or do you criticize yourself? If you are positive, then you help to create a positive self-image. If you’re negative, you undermine your self-worth. Where does negative, critical self-talk come from? Usually from our upbringing. In their book The Answer, businessmen-authors John Assaraf and Murray Smith talk about the negative messages children receive growing up. They write, By the time you’re 17 years old, you’ve heard “No, you can’t” an average of 150,000 times. You’ve heard “Yes, you can” 5,000 times. That’s 30 no's for every yes, creating a powerful belief of “I can’t.”
That’s a lot to overcome. If we want to change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. If we want to change the way we think of ourselves, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. And the older we are, the more responsible we are for how we think, talk and believe. Don’t you have enough problems in life already? Why add to them by discouraging yourself every day with negative self-talk?
You need to learn to become your own encourager, your own cheerleader. Every time you do a good job, don’t just let it pass; give yourself a compliment. Every time you choose discipline over indulgence, don’t tell yourself that you should have anyway; recognize how much you are helping yourself. Every time you make a mistake, don’t bring up everything that’s wrong with yourself; tell yourself that you’re paying the price for growth and that you will learn to do better next time. Every positive thing you can say to yourself will help.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
When I started my career, I looked forward to my organization’s annual report, which showed statistics for each leader. I’d immediately check my standing and compare my progress with the progress of the other leaders. After about five years of doing that, I realized how harmful it was. What happens when you compare yourself to others? Usually you either perceive the other person to be far ahead of you and you feel discouraged, or you perceive yourself to be better than the other person and become proud. Neither is good for you, and neither will help you to grow.
Comparing yourself to others is a needless distraction. The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow. Do that enough, and if you look back and compare the you of weeks, months or years ago to the you of today, you should be greatly encouraged by your progress.
3. Move beyond your limiting beliefs.
I love the old comic strip Shoe by Jeff MacNelly. In one of my favorites, Shoe is pitching in a baseball game. In a conference on the mound, his catcher says, “You’ve got to have faith in your curveball.”
“It’s easy for him to say,” grumbles Shoe. “When it comes to believing in myself, I’m an agnostic.”
Unfortunately, that’s the way a lot of people think about themselves. They don’t believe they can accomplish great things. But the greatest limitations people experience on their lives are usually the ones they impose upon themselves. As industrialist Charles Schwab said, “When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do.”
4. Add value to others.
Because people with low self-esteem often see themselves as inadequate or feel like victims (which often starts because they actually have been victimized in their past), they focus inordinately on themselves. They can become self-protective and selfish because they feel that they have to be to survive.
If that is true of you, then you can combat those feelings by serving others and working to add value to them. Making a difference—even a small one—in the lives of other people lifts one’s self-esteem. It’s hard to feel bad about yourself when you’re doing something good for someone else. In addition to that, adding value to others makes them value you more. It creates a cycle of positive feeling from one person to another. If your business needs help raising its self-esteem, give us a call. We're here to help! Have a great week unless you choose otherwise. Drago
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Erin Mills Mitsubishi - 2013 RVR Review
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Testimonial Of The Week - Every single Monday morning I have been sending this to all of my employees here. Finally they have been taking the time to read it as it is now part of their job descriptions and I pay them for it. I cannot thank you enough for this. I have been reading these since you started sending it to me and am truly blessed for it. It is always such a positive and truly motivating experience every Monday morning and I just thought you all should know that. You are making a difference in our world. (Shane Campbell - City Centre Collision) We also wanted to say Thank You for allowing us to meet with you every Monday Morning. The MMM has experienced incredible growth with a subscriber base of 99,152 people. To Sign Up For The MMM simply send an email to drago@adamadgroup.com with the word subscribe in the subject line. We are truly grateful and humbled by the positive comments we receive weekly. If you enjoy the MMM please pass it along and let others know about it. To see our newsletter archives Click Here! or copy and paste the following link into your browser http://adamadgroup.com/newsletter-archive/ Please meet some of our fabulous clients or view their commercials at our YouTube Channel: West Coast Nissan - www.WestCoastNissan.ca Erin Mills Mitsubishi - www.ErinMillsMitsubishi.ca British Columbia Law Institute - www.bcli.org Sherwood Park Dodge - www.sherwoodparkdodge.com Zender Ford - www.ZenderFord.com West Coast Toyota - www.westcoasttoyota.com West Coast Ford Lincoln - www.westcoastfordlincoln.com 4D LABS - www.4Dlabs.ca Dominion Lending - www.dominionlending.ca Ask Scott - www.AskScott.ca South Centre VW - www.southcentrevw.com South Centre Fine Cars - www.southcentrefinecars.com West Coast Mazda - www.westcoastmazda.com Kia West - www.kiawest.com BC Hyundai Dealers - www.HyundaiCanada.com North Shore Acura - www.NorthShoreAcura.com Ken Evans Ford - www.kenevansford.com Cold-FX - www.Coldfx.com Jim Pattison Toyota - www.jptoyota-surrey.com Spraggs & Company - www.AskTom.ca Jim Pattison Hyundai - www.jpautogroup.com Capital Direct - www.CapitalDirect.ca Jim Pattison Lexus - www.jimpattisonlexus.com Happy Honda - www.HappyHonda.com Watkin Motors - www.WatkinMotors.com Buist Motors - www.Buistmotors.com The King Of Floors - www.KingOfFloors.com Bon Voyage Travel - www.BonVoyageTravel.com Cove Mortgage - www.CoveMortgage.com Mattress Mattress - www.MattressMattress.com Israel Tours - www.Israeltoursforchristians.com Briar Design & Construction - www.Briarrenos.com Spa Utopia - www.SpaUtopia.ca Direct Buy - www.Directbuy.com Crystal Clear Water - www.crystalclearh2o.ca Cummins - www.Cummins.com The Hockey Shop - www.TheHockeyShop.com Prestigious Properties - www.PrestProp.com Ralph's Auto Supply - www.Ralphsauto.com Royal City Jewelers & Loans - www.Rcj.ca Sunshine Coast Health Centre - www.Sunshinecoasthealthcentre.ca Sears Carpet & Upholstery Care - www.Searscarpetcleaning.ca SureSlim - www.SureSlim.ca Surrey Golf Club - www.SurreyGolf.com Tell Del - www.TellDel.com Tourism Surrey - www.TourismSurrey.com Just to name a few…
Success Profile
This week's success profile is Awni & Sherri Abu-Ulba and their team and staff at Spa Utopia. Spa Utopia is an award-winning spa & salon with 3 locations, Langley, North Vancouver and Downtown Vancouver at the Pan Pacific Hotel. Spa Utopia was recently recognized for their excellence in the health and wellness industry by being named one of The Top 50 Spas in Canada for 2012. The 2012 Canadian winners were selected from a pool of more than 500 potential nominations. Criteria for the awards include website creativity, ease in booking appointments, online reservations, gift cards or loyalty programs, innovative spa treatments, unique marketing programs and overall guest satisfaction. If you are trying to find that perfect gift for the loved ones in your life, The Spa Utopia "Red Envelope Gift Card" will be a gift that is greeted with much appreciation. We speak from firsthand knowledge here as my wife and mother eagerly look in their stockings for "The Red Envelope". To find out more about all that Spa Utopia has to offer, visit them online at www.SpaUtopia.ca Can The Adam Advertising Group help your business, or do you have a success story we should hear about? Contact Drago Adam at drago@AdamAdGroup.com or call 604 937 - 8886 or 866 923 - 6477 Click Here! for our newsletter archive
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