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The Journey of Heartbreak & Success!
This week I share the most personal MMM to date, it’s powerful message from the hockey team I coach, Burnaby Minor Bulldogs A1 Under 15. These kids are 13 and 14 years old and we had the privilege of playing with 8 other teams for the Provincial Finals this past week.
For those unfamiliar with what the Provincials are it brings the best 8 teams together from the province of BC for a championship playoff tourney. It’s the equivalent of the Stanley Cup for minor hockey.
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When our season started this past September we set two goals, the first was to finish 1st overall and the second was to win the Provincials. We accomplished our first goal and did finish 1st overall and were excited to start our playoffs to qualify for the Provincials, we managed to get through our playoffs and did qualify for the Provincials.
This was a major accomplishment for our group and association, the last time a team from Burnaby qualified for the Provincials was over 20 years ago and the last time a team from Burnaby won the Provincials was over 40 years ago so the journey to get there was quite an accomplishment.
I remember in our first parent meeting at the beginning of the season stating these goals to our parents and I know a lot of those parents didn’t believe me, but the great thing about 13 and 14 year athletes is when you give them a big audacious goal they say why not.
I asked our players at the beginning if this what they wanted and they all agreed, I told them it won’t be easy but me and my staff are going to coach you the way we need to make this happen. I told them they need them to give us their all and in return our coaching staff will give you our all and we will make this happen!
As a coach there are things that happen during a season that are changing points, ours came about a quarter of the way into our season and we were doing ok but I sensed our team hadn’t bought into how special they were and I sensed their belief was not where it needed to be. I called a players meeting and challenged my team with the following quote – On poor teams nobody leads, on good teams coaches lead, on great teams players lead!
I told them we were on the verge of going from good to great, at present I was leading them too much, they needed to step up and take more responsibility in terms of how they were showing up on and off the ice to move to become a great team. After that meeting I could tell something in them changed you could see it on the ice in games and practices and especially how hard they worked in our dryland training sessions.
The group really came together and bonded they had a genuine love, care and empathy for each other, don’t get me wrong they still had a lot of fun, laughs and silliness that come with 13 and 14 year olds but the other characteristics were beyond kids at this age. This group loved being together and could not get enough, practices, games, video sessions, dryland training it was awesome to see their growth on and off the ice.
Just before our Provincials started I sensed we needed an edge and brought in a gentlemen named Pete Fry who works with many NHL goalies on the mental side of the game, Pete came in and did a 90 minute session with our group that dealt with positive visualization, overcoming fears and nerves and breaking through barriers. I knew this would be extremely important as our first game was against the defending champs and would be the most difficult game right at the start of the tournament.
We played our first game, an extremely hard fought game that ended in a 2-2 tie. The team we played is bigger, faster and has more depth but we had them down 2-1 with 3 minutes left in the game and we received a very questionable penalty called against us and they pulled their goalie to give them a two player advantage and they managed to score a late power play goal to tie the game.
It was a letdown to tie but we proved that we could not only play with the best team in the tourney but could actually beat them.
Fast forward to the finals, we won the next three games and so did the defending champs and we end up facing each other in the finals. We got off to a slow start in the first period and were down 3-0, we made some in game adjustments and managed to score the next goal to make it 3-1 and had some great chances to make it 3-2 but couldn’t find the back of the net, late in the third period we pulled our goalie and eventually gave up an empty net goal and lost 4-1.
The kids were devastated, tears were flowing and emotions were spilling out in our dressing room it was absolute heartache, I told the kids I had no words that will take the sting away.
The beauty of sports is that even when you give all that you have sometimes it is still not enough and you suffer defeat. The blessing though is the journey!
Who you become during that process of giving your heart and soul to something is the reward, you don’t realize it in the moment but once the sting of loss is lessened you realize what you gained. You have a new standard, you know you can do more than you thought, you can compete more, you can expect more of yourself, you learn from being in high intensity situations, you learn about yourself when you are competing with someone who wants the same thing as you and you learn that if you give it your all you have no regrets and if you left it all out there you can live with that!
As their coach I couldn’t be more proud, they gave me everything. We didn’t get the Provincial Championship but we gained everything in the journey on and off the ice, these kids have a new standard of what they can do and what they expect of themselves and they know how hard you have to work to achieve a goal and they know success doesn’t happen alone every player is important and contributes to the ultimate goal.
As a coach my heart bursts with joy and gratitude and these kids taught me just as much as I taught them, the journey was hard but so worth it and we all are more at the end of the season than we started with and that is the art of becoming!
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Drago
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